Facebook – Friend(s) or Foe(s)?

 

 

Today (May 31^st) is officially 'Quit Facebook Day' - and with Facebook continually in the media gathering the popularity (or notoriety) that it has, I've started to wonder what it's really all about.
Facebook, being everywhere, is now part and parcel of our society today. Most organisations and people want you to 'befriend' them or 'like them' (with the 'fan' option no longer being available!).
The power and influence of social networking can no longer be denied – and Facebook seems to be the Big Mamma.
It was launched in February 2004, by Mark Zuckerberg. He was a Harvard undergrad student who realised that it was time to change the traditional student directory they used. His realisation was that, although students develop affiliations on campus and constantly meet new people, they needed a further place to find out "more" about someone you were interested in.
So – today, 6 years later the phenomenon is still exploding with a myriad of reasons why people join the community. Be it:

• To stay in touch with friends
• To pass time spent on your own
• To check up on what your kids are doing
• To promote your business
• To find a potential romantic interest
• Wanting to 'belong'… etc

What helps the growth is that Facebook is easy to use. It's free communication providing you with a certain degree of anonymity and control whilst still able to "socialise" or connect to your heart's content.
To be honest, initially, I didn't quite "get" the Facebook concept. It seemed a little fake, absurd and slightly desperate.
I've since accepted what an awesome social forum it is – being able to connect with so many people, so effortlessly. Sharing photos, staying in touch, online chats and sharing events are all part of the fun – let alone the games, poking and farming!
It's no secret that many individuals (with healthy social skills and not) have made connections with people in places that wouldn't usually be possible. With new connections, obviously, your network of learning and experience extends nationally and internationally.
Relationships have been formed and sometimes even lifetime partnerships!
That being said, I do however still have the following concerns:
Individuals who have previously been isolated due to social phobias, low self-esteem or fears now have a means to connect and see what lies beyond their 'cocooned' worlds. But they can do this without having to face the pressures that the external world often provides.
This experience of the world opening up for them may merely be for something they may not actually be. Characters, personalities and indeed entire lives can be developed and expressed as chosen.
People will 'like' you for who they think you are.
Is this healthy for personal growth and self-acceptance?
I'm not so sure.


Is the fact that Facebook was created to find out "more" about others an indication that we as a society, don't ask enough questions of each other? Or spend enough time with each other?



George Fraser, the author of "Click" is passionate about connecting with others — By this he means that heartfelt feeling of trust, and the exciting burst of energy. And then when at least two people willingly add special value to each other and what they can achieve together is more than either could achieve alone, that's when they CLICK.


So, bearing both the negative and positive aspects in mind, it's important to remember what George Fraser says "Superior interpersonal skills trump all other skills. Be careful who your friends are – your top 5 define you."




So although the world is rapidy changing (both people & technology) don't forget what you're really about.
What is it that you want from others? Is it merely interaction – or do you really want to connect (Click)?
Is Facebook assisting you to move forward in your life, or helping you to hide away?


As with everything in life, make your choices, set your personal boundaries and act within your integrity.







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Life, Love and the Universe (May 25th)

I ran the HBF ‘Run for a Reason’ race on Sunday. (A great race, route and organised event, by the way!)


I love races – I enjoy the vibe, the anticipation, the logistics, the crowds and the energy involved all around.

After we’d finished on Sunday, as I sat in the grandstand waiting for friends to come in I listened to the commentary over the PA system. They recounted the achievements of some of the participants; how one had lost 7kg to run it; how some had entered to beat their previous times; some trying to do 14km as their longest distance as yet and others who mere ran “to finish”.

This got me to thinking about individual goals.
Goals being unique – Goals being something that drives you forward – Something that pushes you to the next level – Towards something you want.

The reality is that just like being in a running event, each step in your life is also a deliberate forward movement. Bearing this in mind, do you know what you’re heading towards?

What goals are you actively pursuing that will make a difference in your life?
What steps are you taking to achieve this goal(s)?

And – what support do you have to get there?

Have a wonderful week, being Perfectly You
http://www.completelyhuman.com/

Creating Life Change

This blog documents one of the largest journeys of my life – the decision to leave my home country, South Africa and settle down to a new life in Australia. This change included a career change and starting up my own business at the same time.

It’s easy to merely write this – but the experience can be quite traumatic emotionally. So many people migrate, continually choosing to live in different places that we all tend to accept and overlook such change as “normal”.

The reality is that any change of this magnitude has profound and life-changing results within your life.

I’ve looked back on the experience and identified some of the elements that made the transition firstly possible, and challenging – but mostly wonderful.

I believe however, that anyone can apply these principles into any major life change or transition they’re experiencing. Everything will seem to flow (albeit not smoothly!) from a sense of satisfaction and peace.

Everything in life happens for a purpose. And it’s your challenge, after discovering what it is - to live in it.

The reality is that your life changes around you regardless of whether you actively participate or not. Even if you choose to stand still – your world continually moves forward. This then, by default, unfortunately means you move backwards.

Therefore, if you embrace and fully experience all dramatic change in your life as being a welcome journey, it will bring you happiness and fulfilment.

We are changing – we have got to change –

We can no more help it

Than leaves can help going yellow

And coming loose in autumn.

D.H. Lawrence

Life, Love and the Universe

We all have lots to do on any given day; with conflicts for our time being part and parcel of life. But how we handle it very much depends on how we think about it all.
How often are you saying (or thinking) “I’m too busy”; “I don’t have enough time”; - because if you’re saying/thinking that – you’re creating it.
The definition of efficiency is “the accomplishment of or ability to accomplish a job with a minimum of time and effort”.
Doesn’t that sound grand?

I had endless email & server problems last week due to not making a mere phone call a few weeks ago to find out how to clear out old emails. I left it for when “I have enough time to be on hold for so long…” (Being a customer support centre and all)

During these weeks however, I was hugely busy and productive, rolling out new ideas/workshops, seeing new clients and “going with the flow”. Yes – things did seem to take a minimum of time and effort.
But the reality is that my procrastination of making the call then cost me a week’s precious “time” and six more phone calls.

So – perhaps I was being efficient by focusing on what felt right, my priorities and immediate goals, but at the cost of the business’s overall effectiveness. Effectiveness means to produce the intended or expected result.

So – bottom line is that whatever systems you’re using in your life to be efficient and manage all the balls in the air at any given time, please ensure that you’re still being effective. And that means that through doing everything you’re doing, you’re still reaching your intended result, be it money, happiness, family-time, success, love or merely some form of inner peace.

Have a wonderful week, Being Perfectly You.
http://www.completelyhuman.com/

PS. Please check out our upcoming workshops for May and June.
http://ee.completelyhuman.com.au/workshops/

Are Your Experiences Really Enough?

I started writing this article on the drive down to Busselton for the Half-Ironman event this weekend.

Being the day before the event, the conversations in the car milled around the usual topics that pre-race jitters bring up: training dramas; personal timing; event pacing; food need before and during the event; the respective cut-off times and tips for doing the quickest transitions…

A group of us travelled in convoy and this has reminded me of my running days of old – travelling to the larger events away from home. Taking part in a long distance event could take up to a week at times as we usually extended our stay for a small holiday.
A good example is how we planned a 3-week European trip around the Geneva marathon. I wanted to do a marathon in Heidi-land (Switzerland).

But thinking back now - I can’t remember the time I ran for that marathon, but I can remember the restaurants we ate at the week before; the feeling of being an “international runner” in a foreign race; I recall the sights and the sounds around the lake; seeing Ipods being used for the first time in a race; and of course the feeling in my legs as I boarded the flight to Rome the same night.

Reflecting on all of this makes me think about what we do in our lives to create experiences rather than merely doing things to produce results.
What is it that you treasure most: the experience; the shared moments with loved ones and friends; the memories you accumulate - or is the fun in the single-minded determination to achieve a goal you’ve set?

A single result is a wonderful and masterful achievement as you even receive a medal and the T-shirt to prove it. Yes, you may have a collection of certificates hanging on your walls – but perhaps there’s even more to it all when you allow yourself to enjoy the accumulation of special moments surrounding the events in your life?

After we’d done our race registration and collected our gear and goodie bags on Friday afternoon, I lay on my bed with my girlfriend chatting. Neil Diamond music was blaring in the background (thanks to the house-owners) and she was asking me about my university days, previous boyfriends and suchlike… yes, girl-talk.

Once again – I realised that I’d need to really think hard to remember the subjects I’d done over the years and the results I’d received (although I’m better academically than athletically!) – but a variety of stories of people, parties, student-holidays and heart-breaks came flooding out!

I’ve realised that my life is largely about people and relationships. But I don’t think I’m unique in this – I’m just allowing myself to experience as much as possible with regard to what life is offering up at any time.

Although, I’m sure it would be different if I were an elite athlete, my reality is that as I sat writing the article, wearing a cute (and unique) t-shirt designed for our triathlon team by one of the team members, I knew that my true joy and success of the entire Half-Ironman experience lay in the build-up, the actual race and in the celebration function afterwards – regardless of how long it took us to actually cross the finish line.

What are you sacrificing from the fuller picture of your life in order to achieve a single-focussed result?
Is this what you really want?

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Albert Schweitzer